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"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”
– Nelson Mandela

1 University

1 Course

3 Subjects

Composition Draft

Composition Draft

Q Post a draft of your composition here for feedback. Introduce your submission by telling us about it so that we have the proper context for giving your feedback. What is it? Who is the audience? What are your goals? What would you like feedback on? With your composition, at the top, post a link to the job ad, scholarship site, or college/university department home page (or other relevant contextual information). -- Give careful feedback to the submission before and after your own. (This means you will likely have to come back later to give feedback.) Your feedback will depend a bit on the genre and goals of the writer. But you can use the formatting requirements as a general guideline: For this task, you will write a document of about one page that will help you meet your goals. Here are some guidelines: 1. know your audience, purpose, and context well to write an effective composition 2. paragraphs focus on one point each with a topic sentence to guide the reader 3. points/paragraphs are organized or ordered in a logical and persuasive structure 4. where needed, supporting examples or evidence is used AND EXPLAINED CAREFULLY to develop your claims 5. respectful and inclusive tone 6. persuasive overall message and appearance Take a moment to respond to each of these in your review, using the numbering given here. Indicate how well this guideline is met and make suggestions about what can be revised or made better. Take time to look carefully for moments where examples might be brought in or used better to support claims. Comment carefully on how well those examples are explained. Composition draft: 20 points Feedback: 15 points

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For my composition, I will be writing a personal statement for the University of Tennessee-Knoxville, as I plan on transferring there this upcoming fall. My goal is to use this statement in my personal essay to show them who I am as a person and how I would be a perfect fit for the institution. I am looking for general feedback since this is basically a rough draft. Ever since I was little, I have always loved helping others and have been striving to make a difference in their lives. When I began the application process for college, I looked into schools that encourage students to help others and strive to make a difference, and the first college that caught my eye was the University of Tennessee.